Your love goes on and on...

♫ Your love never fails / It never gives up / It never runs out on me ♫

Yep, that's the chorus part of that song by Jesus Culture, "One Thing Remains". I've been listening to it on and on again for these past two days as this song ministered to me on a different light.

LSS mode :)

It has been said that "No man is an island". It means that other than food, shelter, clothing and some other stuff, a man needs to be with other people through having relationships with them. Whether we like it or not, we are already born with those-- we have our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. But there are also relationships that we have to choose to have, and that would be our relationships with friends or with any people who happen to be outside (or far from) of your family tree. :)

But as we build relationship with people, we give a part of us to them, making us more vulnerable to them. We are more exposed to possible disappointments, unmet expectations, mistrust, heartaches and letdowns. Time and again we might come to a point of holding all it up, build our own walls around us and then have our reservations of giving a part of us to people since we can be so tired of being hurt. We may be all around with people yet be so reserved. In one way or another, I may have come to this point without knowing it.

The thing here is I kind of decided in the back of my mind that I will contain myself behind my own walls so as not to be too vulnerable. Playing like a "tough cookie" I guess. ;)

I would have call this as a "Fasting Hangover 2.0" post. :) It was during the Day 2 of our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting that was held last week when I read the "Love chapter" of the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13. In that whole chapter, these words kind of spoke louder to me:

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

It dawned on me that I'm doing this not because I'm scared to be wronged or don't want to be hurt. They are just on the surface. The truth is I don't fully trust God anymore in this. I may give tons of reasons why but this is the bottom line, I'm having trust issues with Him (Ouch!) It's like I'm saying that God is holding my heart, only that it is caged and chained. :) But no no... God doesn't want me to do that. He still wants me to be open and free, just like a loving father. :)

If God is love, then HE always protects, HE always trusts, HE always perseveres and HE never fails.

I attended the Day 2 prayer meeting in our church later that day, and the song that I've mentioned was played by the music team. It struck a chord in my heart and then have this thought in my mind:

If I have God and His love in my heart... then disappointments, heartaches, heartbreaks, letdowns, etc. may come but it's just fine... because HIS LOVE NEVER RUNS OUT ON ME. :) It's not that I will be super invincible and will not feel any pain anymore, it is just being secured, being brave and confident that whatever this heart may go through... it will not be calloused or dried up because God's love flows through it. :)

I realized that God's love doesn't just make us complete, joyful and alive. It can also make us brave and strong, not because we are rigid, but because we never run out of love to give that is from the Lord. :) Now that is being secured!

♫ And on and on and on and on it goes / And it overwhelms and satisfies my soul / And I never ever have to be afraid / 'Cos this one thing remains ♫

Fasting Hangover

Last July 2-4, we had our mid-year prayer & fasting in our church. It was really a great time that I'm always looking forward to, even though before I never thought that fasting can be really fun & exciting. :)

During the breaking of fast last Thursday at Ptr. Bong & Ate Jing's house, I've noticed how Justin & Joshua (their two little boys) was so enthusiastic and intensely happy with all the shouting & running around when their daddy arrived home. Justin (the eldest) went to us where we are having our dinner and shouted "Daddy is here!!!" with gusto! Then I saw Joshua running around very happy while holding a bottle of water which is about half empty saying, "Look, daddy gave me this!" Ate Jing told us that he's always happy with whatever his daddy gives to him.

Then it made me think about my relationship with my Father God. Is just His mere presence makes me so enthusiastic & intensely happy? Or in anything that He gives to me, do I receive it with joy & a thankful heart? Even though to other people it might look just like a "half-empty bottled water", but since my Father gave this to me I'm still happy that I received it.

It's something that I pondered about, & I realized that I can be like that when I'm child-like before God & all my delight is in Him. Since I'm already satisfied with His presence, then whatever blessing that He gives me I'll be thankful for it, because it's only just a bonus from being with Him. :)

Yep, I'm having my fasting hangover! :)